Let’s talk about love, shall we?

Sometimes I think I panic for no reason, when it comes to love. Falling in love is easy. I do it all the time. In a blink of an eye, really. I don’t mind dating as much as others do either, it’s fun to meet new people, go new places or in a worst case scenario – get a free drink and a good story to tell in school on Monday morning. My friends in school rely on me to come with these stories. But then when you get to the point where you’re actually in a relationship, I start to think. A LOT. And it usually concerns whether or not this is the love of my life, if I can picture us living together, having children, buying a house, quarreling, going on vacation with, sleeping with – for the rest of my life. I think everyone does this. And so I panic and I break it of, because there has to be someone better out there, someone who is perfect, someone just for me. Someone, who won’t make me think at all. Right?

And then I’m by myself again, going on weird dates and telling stories. Not minding it at all, for the moment. And then I start to panic again. What if this goes on forever too? What if, there really isn’t someone who is perfect and who won’t make me doubt everything. Maybe, it is a fantasy I’ve made up and who isn’t realistic enough to actually happen. Maybe, I’m just going to panic and obsess over past loves because I really can’t commit. And then I feel afraid, because I might send myself into a lifetime of actual loneliness instead of settling for real life.

Who are you?